I need a break

I must need a vacation. I can't think of any other reason why I'm losing it so easily this week, or why I feel so discombobulated.

I lost a $20 bill at breakfast. I went to Virlie's to get breakfast, coffee and use the internet. I must have been there nearly three hours working on a sales presentation. When I went to pay with the only cash I had it wasnt there. I looked for it, no luck. This may have been the worst part of my day, just the little thing to set me off.

Also, they've decided the new community college and library needs a traffic circle- outside my driveway! Good for real estate investment perhaps- especially since it will bring the downtown atmosphere westward to my house- but 120 days of detour. There is no traffic from my street south. So I can't go into downtown, can't run my usual three mile route, can't go directly to the dog sitters. And there's construction noise, which is a trade off for the usual tractor trailer logging truck noise.

I've got two fire trucks on the table. I can't tell you how much I need to sell these. I have the perfect opportunity to do so: E-One has given plenty of concession to make the price as low as possible on an aerial truck, and the other one could be an exact replica of one that is being delivered to the shop this week. Seeing is believing and being able to show a department the exact truck they want is the best sales tool. But as I learned with my no-deal $800k contract: it doesn't really matter, they will buy whatever they want and it probably won't be mine.

CHFD is really messing with me these days. I'm pretty upset about it now that I've thought abot the entire scope of it. Lately I've done everything and more to be a good driver/operator (classes, practice in the evenings, pushing myself to learn more than average, asking questions to everyone, dissecting trucks...) I had promised Vence I'd put my nose to the grindstone and be the next driver on his shift. I pushed myself because I didn't want to be complacent as a lever puller, I actually wanted to excel at driving and pumping. When I was ready and put on my big girl panties and quit being scared of the test, I told him I was ready to take it.
What do I get back?
"Ok you can drive to EMS calls"'
THIS IS LIKE STEP TWO OF DRIVING. I WANTED TO FINISH THE PROCESS!
Because at this point its my pride. I would be the only female driving. I would be a master firefighter and get a raise. I would prove that I am one of the better relief drivers on the road. Now they've set me back at the beginning because the "training chief" has picked up driver training and created a new "system" (Btw, he has also already dropped it -leaving me where I am now)

What else?
The iPhone is broken. No, People, its not because I can't take care of anything. Its because I live a life well lived.
The house smells terrible. I have to get a new carpet.
My herbs are growing. Believe it or not.
Thank God I'm getting my hair done (at Leon's beauty school) on Friday. I need a boost.
Loved meeing Cooper and seeing all my nephews.

Conclusions....
I don't think its just a coincidence that these terrible moments come after days of separation from my dogs. And, at least I don't put my mother in the ground tomorrow all by myself at 23, like Eleni.